Chicago Retreat: Day 32 - 36

Dear Diary,

It's been awhile since I last blogged! I'm currently on silent retreat and resisting the urge to have any connection via internet. But I decided to update this so I can keep my memory fresh :)

The last time I had a silent retreat was in April 2010 at Seven Fountains, Chiangmai so I was really looking forward to this one, even prior to my arrival here.

I checked-in at the Cenacle Retreat Centre on Monday. Sr Emma Exconde, my spiritual director met me at the lobby and she brought me around. The centre is extremely lovely! Although the silence is a little overwhelming :P When she showed me to my room, I was immediately in heaven! The room was not like anything I had seen in Chiangmai. It was much more cosier and reminded me of a hotel room. "You have the city view!" Sr Emma said."You'll get to see the lights at night. It's very beautiful."

The best part though, for me, was that my room was located directly in front of the prayer chapel - which meant that I could walk over anytime I wanted and spend some time there without disturbing anyone. It meant a lot to me that God had taken care of this tiny detail just to ensure that easy access was given to me. Thankfully, the washrooms were also just a short walk away. 

As I continued on my tour of the building, I realised that the retreat centre had a lot of lovely places and spaces for the individual to pray and reflect. Apart from its outdoor gardens, I was struck most of all by the Lady Chapel, a large chapel where the Cenacle Sisters congregate to pray together with visitors and guests to the centre. The moment I entered the chapel, I was drawn by the beautiful stained glass panes on the walls.

I could only imagine what worshipping God in such an environment would feel like. That is an instinctive silence and reverence that befalls upon the beholder in the face of such artistic beauty. Later on that day, I walked quietly among the Stations of the Cross, admiring and contemplating the faces of the persons portrayed. There was something about the faces being carved so life-like in wood that I could not help but gasp internally at each one. Here are some of those which stood out and struck me:

The Thirteenth Station:
The body of Jesus being taken down from the cross by his mother.

The First Station:
Jesus being condemned by Pilot to carry the cross.

The Twelfth Station:
Jesus dies on the cross, with Mary his mother and John his disciple.

The Fourteenth Station - Jesus is laid in the tomb.
I was struck by the image of Mary gazing upon her son's body. Somehow, this image moved me.

The Third Station - Jesus falls the first time.
The man standing at the back, I presume, is the Pharisee staring on and "upholding" the law in his hands

The Fourth Station - Jesus meets his mother.
It struck me that the first person whom Jesus encounters, after he fell, was his mother.
It struck me further that she was kneeling on the ground with a pleading look on her face.
I was really moved by this somehow - it reminded me of my own mother and the concern she exuded,  in spite of my stubborness, because of my decision to do what I felt I had to (of course, the only difference being that I'm not Jesus!). 

At the entrance of the chapel, there was a winding staircase that led right to the loft. When I saw it, I couldn't help by gasp internally at how beautiful and personal the space was. It was like a page out of a dream.

The stairs leading up to the loft.
A statue of Saint Therese Couderc, the co-foundress of the Cenacle can be seen on the LHS.

There are cushions and old pews with kneelers for persons to pray and reflect.

The stained glass at the back of the loft.

A retreat at the Cenacle is like a quiet, restful vacation in an amazing art museum - just that you're often caught off guard by the treasures that you find, unobtrusive and hidden, along corridors and stairwells. The nature of these art pieces themselves are often striking and stirring - like the beauty of God dwelling in all things, waiting to be discovered.

"Let It Rain (Holy Ghost Rain)"
by Leslye Ong
I love the image of the character opening up his mouth to drink in the rain!
Or was he singing...?

"The Tree of Life"
by Leslye Ong

There are quotes hidden along the stairwells and corridors as well, for the unsuspecting guest.

One of the things that struck me when I first checked into the Cenacle, was the vast amount of books that they had for one's spiritual inspiration and personal reflection. Here are pictures of some books that inspired me on my journey :)

A moving book written by Joseph Cardinal Bernardin,  an Archbishop of Chicago,
in his last days during his battle against pancreatic cancer. 

The bookshop :)

I found this gem of a book in the prayer chapel across my room. 

Apart from the chapels, I had a few other favourite spaces, including the room where I meet Sr Emma for my daily spiritual direction and (of course) the dining room! :)

Cosy meeting rooms for personal direction :)

The dining room! :)

An espresso machine and a microwave - essentials for any retreat!

Retreats are always a healthy - not just for the soul, but for the body too :)

The menu for the day is usually displayed on the wall.
(This was the best one I had all week;)

I have to say, the lasagne was wonderful.

Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

My portion :)

Since good things were meant to be shared, I could not resist sneaking out a tupperware for Steph! :)

I have to admit, I was a little distracted during my retreat as I had dance classes ongoing, so I would leave in the evenings for classes. To be honest, it was really hard for me to be silent during my retreat, but God is good. Already on my first day, I was struck by some of the things Sr Emma said. The materials I found by chance, which accompanied me in the days that followed, were also amazingly relevant and on point. I was deeply moved that God was the one in charge. I didn't have to plan my itinerary or program. He just met me wherever I was at, and in the least expected of places. Even on the last day of my retreat, I felt like it was still the beginning - God was still doing some work in me and we had only just begun.  

At the end of my retreat, I felt like a toddler just learning to walk again. I felt a lot more connected to God than I had been when I first arrived here in Chicago but I knew that that connection was something which I needed to "grow" in the days to come thereafter. And the only way of doing so, was to set aside some quality time with God. 

Thankfully, Sr Emma sensed where I was in my walk and she encouraged me to return for further spiritual direction. "You've only just begun!" She had exclaimed with a smile. I look forward to meeting her again next week, but not before I've done my part in spending time with God ;P